**Edited** Please read this post before you read this.
I awoke to my blaring alarm at 5:00 am. I had to get the rest of the car loaded and get ready for work. Alex helped me load the car and I made it to work on time, at 8:30. I was already tired!
I got off at 1:30 and Luke brought the kids to my office so we could jump on the interstate from there. It was 2:00 before we got everyone situated in the van and got on the road. We made great time, even stopping for dinner at Steak 'N' Shake and stopping for gas. I had told Denise that we would be there at 9:00 pm, at the earliest. We arrived at exactly 9:00! I don't remember if we knocked, probably not because the Hotel Cinderella just isn't a formal, knocking kind of place. We walked in and were greeted by...wait for it...no one! Yup, after 7 long hours on the road, no one was there. We called out a couple of times and then finally heard an angry voice from upstairs, complaining that we had arrived early and our room was not ready. Are you kidding me???? Good thing I am so attached to the staff at this hotel or I would have skipped check in and driven straight back to Williamsburg.
The kids and Denise eventually made their way downstairs, along with a therapist. After some hugging, Denise informed me that she was planning to have a stir fry for dinner, but her friend, Chris, was supposed to make it, but wasn't able to. I volunteered to make it, even though I've only made a stir fry once and had no idea what I was doing. I sort of had to make it, anyway, because the stir fry ingredients were taking up a ton of room in the fridge and I needed to put things in there. The package of spinach was so huge it almost took an entire shelf! (I think this was when I found some moldy, black bananas in the fridge, but I didn't keep any notes about it, so I can't be sure.) Denise told me to cook anything that was green, so I did. First I had to cut it all, though. So...after what seemed like at least two hours, I had everything cut and in the wok. Had I known that I was going to be going into a sweat lodge so quickly after arrival, I would have worn my bathing suit. It was really, really hot and humid with that wok going! Remember, I've only made a stir fry once and I don't even remember much about it. I kept asking Denise when it was done and she kept saying, "maybe another minute". There were a lot of "minutes" involved. I don't think I did a very good job because she didn't finish it all and didn't eat the leftovers! She said it was good and although she doesn't spare my feelings often, she did this time.
So, I serve the Queen her stir fry and she says, "Oh no, this isn't the fork I like. I can't use this one." She then proceeds to show me which forks (among the million and ten in the drawer) she can and cannot use. By this time I was pretty much wrung out, but I do remember something about flat ends and forks that had been through the garbage disposal. I just can't remember if she likes flat ends or doesn't like them. Then a few seconds after the fork lecture, I hear her say to Alex, "I don't want to be a bother." Are you kidding me????
Lest anyone get the wrong idea, Denise is not that ungrateful! After I was done cooking and she was sort of eating it, she said, "Thanks for making this. You really didn't have to." Oh, I almost forgot this part, when I finally finish cooking and am wiping the sweat from my brow, she says, "I'm so tired." Are you kidding me???? I was thinking, "I've only been here 1 hour and 37 minutes and I'm ready to go home!"
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It took me awhile to respond because my eyes were swollen shut from all of the crying I did after reading this. I'm okay now, though. Really.
For the record, the only reason I didn't finish the stir-fry was because you served enough to feed an entire village! I could barely lift the plate! And, the reason I didn't eat the leftovers is because you fed me constantly the entire time you were there! I mean, really, who's going to want stir-fry when there's cheesecake sitting next to it in the fridge?
Oh, and I thought that it was funny that you called me the Queen. Did I tell you that the guys I used to work with (you know, back in the early 90's when I actually had a job) used to call me The Queen? I can't figure out why...
I'm eagerly awaiting Chapter Two.
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