Hannah had a short meltdown today, but I am seeing such huge improvement since her meds have been increased. This was her first one in a LONG time. She got angry over something I said and Steven reiterated. It would have been fine if Steven hadn't stuck his two cents in, when he shouldn't have. Anyway, she started to cry and ran upstairs. Then there was a huge crash.
Drew has his dresser at the top of the stairs and he has a box on top of it, where he keeps a bunch of his crap, including a ton of cologne bottles (cologne seems to be one of his obsessions). She had picked the box up and thrown it down the stairs. There was stuff all over the hall up there and on almost all of the stairs and even a few on the foyer. Somehow, only two large cologne bottles broke, but it was a huge, smelly mess. He also had a bunch of hockey cards and paperwork in the box, plus a ton of miscellaneous stuff, like un-blown balloons and shaving supplies.
It was fun to clean up. Alex helped a ton, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Hannah came out of her room and offered to help, but I said no because the glass was really sharp and I had already had to pull a piece out of my finger with a tweezers and I was being super careful.
Here is where I see the improvement. Number one, Hannah never apologizes when she has a tantrum. Oh, she will say sorry when I tell her to, but it is said in a snotty way and you can tell she isn't really sorry. Also, she offered to help with the clean-up, sincerely and nicely. That was only about 5 minutes after she threw the box and she was already calm. That is a big improvement. When she came downstairs later (after falling asleep in her room for about an hour), she apologized and told me that she really did feel bad about doing that and that she regretted it right after she did it. Another huge step for her. Normally, she would blame it on someone else and refuse any responsibility.
Hannah also hasn't been having any after school tantrums, now that she is taking her second does of abilify in school. It is working by the time she gets home and life is so much easier.
Speaking of Hannah, she went to a dance at her school last night. Alex had a play performance so he wasn't there to keep an eye on her. I wasn't worried, though, with her new attitude, I figured she would be fine. She always dances in a big group, but she came home all excited last night because a boy asked her to dance a slow dance. She doesn't "like" him (although she used to have a huge crush on his twin brother in fourth grade) and he doesn't "like" her, they just danced as friends. (Apparently that is very important for us to know!!!)
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Another mini-meltdown
Well, today started off fairly smoothly. I had a PT appointment in the afternoon and I was almost ready to go when I heard screaming from the family room. It was Hannah yelling something and Shauna screaming, "Stop, you're hurting me! Owww! Hannah, stoooooop!", over and over again. Since I can't move quickly, there wasn't a whole lot I could do. Then Shauna managed to break away and came running in my room, screaming in pain. It turned out that Hannah had somehow found a perfume that they both thought belonged to them. Shauna told Hannah that she couldn't use it and Hannah said she could and she grabbed Shauna's hand around the finger area and was squeezing as hard as she could. Shauna must have told her to stop at least 10 times and made it very clear that Hannah was hurting her. Hannah finally came in my room after I called her three times on the phone and she kept hanging up on me. I asked each one what had happened and both girls had the same story. Hannah, however, felt that she was justified in what she did because Shauna pinched her. I asked her why Shauna pinched her and she said, "Because I was squeezing her hand and she wanted me to stop." So I said, "Well, if you were hurting her and she was trying to get you to stop, that is called self defense and that is allowed." I explained several times, but Hannah just couldn't "get it". She was convinced that she was in the right. I told her that she was going to get a consequence for the physical violence and she yelled "Whatever" as she headed toward my bedroom door to leave. Of course, she couldn't leave it at that and she was furious with me, so she grabbed an expensive, handmade porcelain doll that I had on my dresser and she threw it across the room at me. It missed me, but hit the wood on the side of my bed frame and broke the face. I was heartbroken because I absolutely love that doll.
I remember the day I got the doll in September of 1997. I was at a local craft fair with my friend, Debbie and I had Hannah in the stroller. We came upon a booth of handcrafted porcelain dolls.
They were beautiful and extremely well done. There was an African American baby girl doll, sucking her thumb that looked so much like Hannah that I had to have it. The price was really high, I think close to $200 and I really have never spent that much money on anything like that in my life, but it looked so much like Hannah that I couldn't resist. I ended up putting it on layaway and paying it off over a few months. I truly loved that doll because to me it represented the incredible love that I had for my first daughter.
I am going to talk to Hannah alone tonight and let her know just how much what she did hurt me. I don't want to make her feel bad, but she needs to realize that when she doesn't control herself, it can really physically or emotionally hurt someone. I know she will understand me, but when she gets into one of her rages, all of the little bit of logic that she actually has retained, goes straight out the window.
Well, that went well. As I was finishing up that last sentence, she came in my room and I told her I wanted to talk about the doll. She ran for the door and I told her to get back in here and she screamed, "No, it will just make me mad, I'm not talking about it". I guess I will have to wait until tomorrow to try again, but she WILL talk about it, whether she wants to or not.
I remember the day I got the doll in September of 1997. I was at a local craft fair with my friend, Debbie and I had Hannah in the stroller. We came upon a booth of handcrafted porcelain dolls.
They were beautiful and extremely well done. There was an African American baby girl doll, sucking her thumb that looked so much like Hannah that I had to have it. The price was really high, I think close to $200 and I really have never spent that much money on anything like that in my life, but it looked so much like Hannah that I couldn't resist. I ended up putting it on layaway and paying it off over a few months. I truly loved that doll because to me it represented the incredible love that I had for my first daughter.
I am going to talk to Hannah alone tonight and let her know just how much what she did hurt me. I don't want to make her feel bad, but she needs to realize that when she doesn't control herself, it can really physically or emotionally hurt someone. I know she will understand me, but when she gets into one of her rages, all of the little bit of logic that she actually has retained, goes straight out the window.
Well, that went well. As I was finishing up that last sentence, she came in my room and I told her I wanted to talk about the doll. She ran for the door and I told her to get back in here and she screamed, "No, it will just make me mad, I'm not talking about it". I guess I will have to wait until tomorrow to try again, but she WILL talk about it, whether she wants to or not.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Looking forward to tomorrow....
Looking forward to tomorrow...it can't be worse than today! Just kidding, in spite of the rages and the 911 call, today wasn't so so bad. The kids and I played Rock Band for a couple of hours tonight and had a good time.
About an hour or two before dinner, Shauna was being snotty about something and I gave her a time-out. She refused to set the timer so I told her if she didn't set the timer, the time-out would never start and she would never get out. Her reply was, "I don't care, I'm not setting it." And upstairs she went, screaming and crying about how much she hates this family, etc.
Now it is sort of unusual for Shauna to throw a tantrum. For the most part, she has always been cooperative, sweet and even tempered. Lately, however, she has been starting to get quite an attitude and refusing to do chores or other things she is asked. Sometimes she will do them, but she makes sighs, rolls her eyes, moans and complains the whole time.
After about an hour and a half upstairs, she came down and asked if she could have dinner. I said yes, as soon as you set your timer and take your time-out. Well, she exploded and began screaming and yelling all over again. She screamed and stomped her way up to her room and continued to scream at the top of her lungs (surprised the neighbors didn't call 911) for about a half an hour or so.
When the screaming stopped, I went into her room, at which time she started screaming, get out. I told her that when she was done tantruming and was ready to talk about things, just let me know and I will be happy to talk to you. She came down about 10 minutes later, eyes almost swollen shut. She walked right up to me and let me hug her.
Alex and Hannah felt sorry for her and helped her fix herself some dinner, which we had just finished putting away. She ate and then I talked to her a little bit. I told her that she needed to come up some other ways of handling her anger, besides screaming and throwing things around her room. Her first suggestion was, "you mean like cutting myself?" then she suggested that I let her have a pillow and scissors so she could stab the pillow because that would make her feel better. Hmmmmm....then she told me that she had a scissors in her room and was thinking about killing herself with it. I asked why she wanted to kill herself and she said so we would all feel bad about being mean to her, but then she thought about her friends and figured they would be sad, too, so she didn't do it. Ugh!
After those confessions, we talked about how suicide and cutting never help, etc. I also told her she might have to talk to a doctor about her feelings. I know she was only feeling sorry for herself and not seriously considering any of the above, but it makes me cringe that a 10 year old is even thinking that way. I am going to talk to her again tomorrow and see if she can come up with some other ideas for venting her frustration.
Oh, by the way, Hannah told me that the reason she had to hit me to feel better during her rage was because I never got her the punching bag she asked for. Once again it is all Mom's fault!
About an hour or two before dinner, Shauna was being snotty about something and I gave her a time-out. She refused to set the timer so I told her if she didn't set the timer, the time-out would never start and she would never get out. Her reply was, "I don't care, I'm not setting it." And upstairs she went, screaming and crying about how much she hates this family, etc.
Now it is sort of unusual for Shauna to throw a tantrum. For the most part, she has always been cooperative, sweet and even tempered. Lately, however, she has been starting to get quite an attitude and refusing to do chores or other things she is asked. Sometimes she will do them, but she makes sighs, rolls her eyes, moans and complains the whole time.
After about an hour and a half upstairs, she came down and asked if she could have dinner. I said yes, as soon as you set your timer and take your time-out. Well, she exploded and began screaming and yelling all over again. She screamed and stomped her way up to her room and continued to scream at the top of her lungs (surprised the neighbors didn't call 911) for about a half an hour or so.
When the screaming stopped, I went into her room, at which time she started screaming, get out. I told her that when she was done tantruming and was ready to talk about things, just let me know and I will be happy to talk to you. She came down about 10 minutes later, eyes almost swollen shut. She walked right up to me and let me hug her.
Alex and Hannah felt sorry for her and helped her fix herself some dinner, which we had just finished putting away. She ate and then I talked to her a little bit. I told her that she needed to come up some other ways of handling her anger, besides screaming and throwing things around her room. Her first suggestion was, "you mean like cutting myself?" then she suggested that I let her have a pillow and scissors so she could stab the pillow because that would make her feel better. Hmmmmm....then she told me that she had a scissors in her room and was thinking about killing herself with it. I asked why she wanted to kill herself and she said so we would all feel bad about being mean to her, but then she thought about her friends and figured they would be sad, too, so she didn't do it. Ugh!
After those confessions, we talked about how suicide and cutting never help, etc. I also told her she might have to talk to a doctor about her feelings. I know she was only feeling sorry for herself and not seriously considering any of the above, but it makes me cringe that a 10 year old is even thinking that way. I am going to talk to her again tomorrow and see if she can come up with some other ideas for venting her frustration.
Oh, by the way, Hannah told me that the reason she had to hit me to feel better during her rage was because I never got her the punching bag she asked for. Once again it is all Mom's fault!
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