Showing posts with label bipolar disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar disorder. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
#3 is moving out
Steven and his friend, Will, started moving Steven's things out today. They took the most 'important' stuff, his entertainment center, tv, and stereo. He left his dirty laundry, surprise, surprise. Another surprise, he doesn't know his new address and doesn't know if the house is air conditioned. He hasn't given a thought to things like towels, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, etc. All the things he took for granted while he lived here. This is going to be very interesting!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A proud parent moment
I always knew that my goal in life was to get married, have kids and adopt. I just always knew that I was going to do that, it wasn't a decision I made. I had no interest in a career or graduating from college. I never, in my wildest dreams about parenting, ever thought I would be in the situation that I am in today.
I think God has a good plan. He has made it so that future parents are not capable of accurately forecasting or understanding how much pain they would have to go through while raising their kids. Even though everyone tells you how hard it is and you see how they are struggling, you really can't grasp just how hard it will be. If it weren't this way, no one would ever have kids.
Today I sat in court while my son, Steven, was sentenced to 30 days in jail. I joked with Luke, a few hours later, that I felt like I should knock out a few of my teeth, put a wife-beater (or Dago-Tee, depending on what part of the country you are in) on Mike and sit in front of my trailer, smoking a corn cob pipe. I never could have imagined that a child of mine would serve time in jail. Maybe get a speeding ticket or detention in school, but jail???
After saying all that and as upset as I am to have a son who is going to jail, I am actually happy that he was sentenced to some jail time. He got an underage drinking charge last May and was put on probation. If he complied with the probation requirements, the charge would never go on his record. He complied with some of the things he was supposed to do. He went to the probation meetings, after a bad start when he "forgot" about the first one. He went back to the doctor and got a new prescription for his bipolar disorder meds, which he had stopped taking. He never filled the prescription. He went in for a drug test every time he was told to and failed every one. He went to an intake appointment for a substance abuse program, but then refused to go when he found out that the intake appointment was costing him $75 and each weekly meeting would cost another $35. He was supposed to go to MA, AA or NA meetings, which are free and he refused to go. He got several warnings from his probation officer, but he didn't care. In his mind, it was a much better way to go to just go ahead and get convicted. Unfortunately, his PO had told him that he would only get a slap on the wrist if he violated. He figured that would be cheaper and less effort than paying all the therapy and doctor fees and attending all the appointments.
Turns out she wasn't quite accurate about the slap on the wrist. Unless you consider 30 days in jail (he only has to serve 15, if he behaves), an $8 fee for each day served, $45 in court fees, revocation of driver's license for 6 months and a $150 fine a slap on the wrist. He still also has the original fine and court fee to pay, which he has been ignoring, so he might get another charge. Again, I'm not complaining, just pointing out how silly it was for him to believe that getting convicted was a good idea.
Is Steven upset about all this? Doesn't seem to be. He doesn't think it is any big deal because it is only "weekend time". He will have to present himself at the jail by 10 am every Tuesday and will have to be picked up at the jail (since he can't drive and has no car anyway) at 10 am every Thursday, beginning next week and lasting for 8 weeks. Yes, Mike or I have the pleasure of having to leave our house on Christmas morning to pick our son up from the jail. Oh, and we get to experience that same pleasure again on New Year's Day. And there goes the whole family being together for Christmas Eve, which is the main celebration day in our family.
I always try to find a bright side to things that suck in life and there are actually several here. Firstly, Steven might actually learn something from this. I doubt it, but it is possible. Maybe he will begin to understand that you can't do whatever you want and get away with it. Maybe he will start to mature a bit when he sees all the low lives that he will be living with in jail. Maybe he will get tired of paying all those fees and behave. Lastly, he has to wear whitey-tighties under his jail uniform, which I think is hilariously funny! For someone like Steven, having to buy and then wear white briefs might just be more of a punishment than doing the actual jail time!
I think God has a good plan. He has made it so that future parents are not capable of accurately forecasting or understanding how much pain they would have to go through while raising their kids. Even though everyone tells you how hard it is and you see how they are struggling, you really can't grasp just how hard it will be. If it weren't this way, no one would ever have kids.
Today I sat in court while my son, Steven, was sentenced to 30 days in jail. I joked with Luke, a few hours later, that I felt like I should knock out a few of my teeth, put a wife-beater (or Dago-Tee, depending on what part of the country you are in) on Mike and sit in front of my trailer, smoking a corn cob pipe. I never could have imagined that a child of mine would serve time in jail. Maybe get a speeding ticket or detention in school, but jail???
After saying all that and as upset as I am to have a son who is going to jail, I am actually happy that he was sentenced to some jail time. He got an underage drinking charge last May and was put on probation. If he complied with the probation requirements, the charge would never go on his record. He complied with some of the things he was supposed to do. He went to the probation meetings, after a bad start when he "forgot" about the first one. He went back to the doctor and got a new prescription for his bipolar disorder meds, which he had stopped taking. He never filled the prescription. He went in for a drug test every time he was told to and failed every one. He went to an intake appointment for a substance abuse program, but then refused to go when he found out that the intake appointment was costing him $75 and each weekly meeting would cost another $35. He was supposed to go to MA, AA or NA meetings, which are free and he refused to go. He got several warnings from his probation officer, but he didn't care. In his mind, it was a much better way to go to just go ahead and get convicted. Unfortunately, his PO had told him that he would only get a slap on the wrist if he violated. He figured that would be cheaper and less effort than paying all the therapy and doctor fees and attending all the appointments.
Turns out she wasn't quite accurate about the slap on the wrist. Unless you consider 30 days in jail (he only has to serve 15, if he behaves), an $8 fee for each day served, $45 in court fees, revocation of driver's license for 6 months and a $150 fine a slap on the wrist. He still also has the original fine and court fee to pay, which he has been ignoring, so he might get another charge. Again, I'm not complaining, just pointing out how silly it was for him to believe that getting convicted was a good idea.
Is Steven upset about all this? Doesn't seem to be. He doesn't think it is any big deal because it is only "weekend time". He will have to present himself at the jail by 10 am every Tuesday and will have to be picked up at the jail (since he can't drive and has no car anyway) at 10 am every Thursday, beginning next week and lasting for 8 weeks. Yes, Mike or I have the pleasure of having to leave our house on Christmas morning to pick our son up from the jail. Oh, and we get to experience that same pleasure again on New Year's Day. And there goes the whole family being together for Christmas Eve, which is the main celebration day in our family.
I always try to find a bright side to things that suck in life and there are actually several here. Firstly, Steven might actually learn something from this. I doubt it, but it is possible. Maybe he will begin to understand that you can't do whatever you want and get away with it. Maybe he will start to mature a bit when he sees all the low lives that he will be living with in jail. Maybe he will get tired of paying all those fees and behave. Lastly, he has to wear whitey-tighties under his jail uniform, which I think is hilariously funny! For someone like Steven, having to buy and then wear white briefs might just be more of a punishment than doing the actual jail time!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Meltdown
Hannah had a short meltdown today, but I am seeing such huge improvement since her meds have been increased. This was her first one in a LONG time. She got angry over something I said and Steven reiterated. It would have been fine if Steven hadn't stuck his two cents in, when he shouldn't have. Anyway, she started to cry and ran upstairs. Then there was a huge crash.
Drew has his dresser at the top of the stairs and he has a box on top of it, where he keeps a bunch of his crap, including a ton of cologne bottles (cologne seems to be one of his obsessions). She had picked the box up and thrown it down the stairs. There was stuff all over the hall up there and on almost all of the stairs and even a few on the foyer. Somehow, only two large cologne bottles broke, but it was a huge, smelly mess. He also had a bunch of hockey cards and paperwork in the box, plus a ton of miscellaneous stuff, like un-blown balloons and shaving supplies.
It was fun to clean up. Alex helped a ton, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Hannah came out of her room and offered to help, but I said no because the glass was really sharp and I had already had to pull a piece out of my finger with a tweezers and I was being super careful.
Here is where I see the improvement. Number one, Hannah never apologizes when she has a tantrum. Oh, she will say sorry when I tell her to, but it is said in a snotty way and you can tell she isn't really sorry. Also, she offered to help with the clean-up, sincerely and nicely. That was only about 5 minutes after she threw the box and she was already calm. That is a big improvement. When she came downstairs later (after falling asleep in her room for about an hour), she apologized and told me that she really did feel bad about doing that and that she regretted it right after she did it. Another huge step for her. Normally, she would blame it on someone else and refuse any responsibility.
Hannah also hasn't been having any after school tantrums, now that she is taking her second does of abilify in school. It is working by the time she gets home and life is so much easier.
Speaking of Hannah, she went to a dance at her school last night. Alex had a play performance so he wasn't there to keep an eye on her. I wasn't worried, though, with her new attitude, I figured she would be fine. She always dances in a big group, but she came home all excited last night because a boy asked her to dance a slow dance. She doesn't "like" him (although she used to have a huge crush on his twin brother in fourth grade) and he doesn't "like" her, they just danced as friends. (Apparently that is very important for us to know!!!)
Drew has his dresser at the top of the stairs and he has a box on top of it, where he keeps a bunch of his crap, including a ton of cologne bottles (cologne seems to be one of his obsessions). She had picked the box up and thrown it down the stairs. There was stuff all over the hall up there and on almost all of the stairs and even a few on the foyer. Somehow, only two large cologne bottles broke, but it was a huge, smelly mess. He also had a bunch of hockey cards and paperwork in the box, plus a ton of miscellaneous stuff, like un-blown balloons and shaving supplies.
It was fun to clean up. Alex helped a ton, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Hannah came out of her room and offered to help, but I said no because the glass was really sharp and I had already had to pull a piece out of my finger with a tweezers and I was being super careful.
Here is where I see the improvement. Number one, Hannah never apologizes when she has a tantrum. Oh, she will say sorry when I tell her to, but it is said in a snotty way and you can tell she isn't really sorry. Also, she offered to help with the clean-up, sincerely and nicely. That was only about 5 minutes after she threw the box and she was already calm. That is a big improvement. When she came downstairs later (after falling asleep in her room for about an hour), she apologized and told me that she really did feel bad about doing that and that she regretted it right after she did it. Another huge step for her. Normally, she would blame it on someone else and refuse any responsibility.
Hannah also hasn't been having any after school tantrums, now that she is taking her second does of abilify in school. It is working by the time she gets home and life is so much easier.
Speaking of Hannah, she went to a dance at her school last night. Alex had a play performance so he wasn't there to keep an eye on her. I wasn't worried, though, with her new attitude, I figured she would be fine. She always dances in a big group, but she came home all excited last night because a boy asked her to dance a slow dance. She doesn't "like" him (although she used to have a huge crush on his twin brother in fourth grade) and he doesn't "like" her, they just danced as friends. (Apparently that is very important for us to know!!!)
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