Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

You know, everyone always talks about all the negative things about having a child who is a rager. Today I am choosing to look at the positive. In our family, there are lots of times when we don't need our alarm clocks because Hannah's rages wake us up. Today was one of those days. The only downside is Hannah doesn't have a snooze button!

I was just stepping out of the shower a little before 6:00 am, when I heard pounding on my door, along with frantic yelling. My first thought was, "Oh, yay, another fun day is beginning". I told her I was just getting out of the shower and I would be out in a few minutes. I heard her yelling a bunch of stuff, but the only part I could make out was her telling me that she needed me to come out right now. I told her I had to get dressed and she actually left. Surprise, surprise. I dilly-dallied as much as possible because I knew the longer I took to go out there, the less time she would have to abuse me before she had to leave for the school bus. I hadn't made lunches yet, so I had to go out when it was still 10 minutes until bus time.

It turns out that she wanted me to sign on my computer so she could re-set her boyfriend's iPod. Apparently, he told her that his friend, who was arrested yesterday, had borrowed it while he (boyfriend Tito) was in Florida for Spring Break. Supposedly, the arrested friend had changed the password and Tito doesn't have computer access to change it back. He can't ask the friend what the new password is because he is locked up. Come to find out, Hannah had asked Luke to do it last night and he told her it was probably a stolen iPod. She, of course, believes the boyfriend, even though he has already served time in juvenile detention for stealing an iPod. He told her he has changed, so it must be true. When I heard that, I said it probably was stolen. Hannah right away became furious and said she would never have a stolen iPod in her hands. I tried to tell her I didn't think she had stolen it or knew it was stolen, but I'm not sure she believed me. After all, why believe your mom, who loves you, when you can believe the "already been locked up at least twice boyfriend"? I already knew she hadn't stolen the iPod because she only steals from her siblings! So, anyway, I still don't know what the truth is about the iPod and she wouldn't tell me why the boyfriend's friend got arrested. She just said, "Let's just say he did a lot of things, a lot". Then she heard her bus outside and had to leave. Lucky for the rest of us, Hannah is the first one to leave in the morning and the rest of us were left to get ready for our day in peace.

"Fun" Afternoon

I worked this morning and had an absolutely lovely day, taking L to play group. The morning went by really quickly and before I knew it, I was already home. Hannah had an appointment with her psychologist this afternoon. She actually came home on time, after several friendly reminders. Once she got home, she ran upstairs, saying she just had to change her shirt and would be right back down. Ten minutes later, when I told her we absolutely had to leave, she started to rage about not being able to find her shoe. I couldn't understand most of what she said because she was screaming and the dog started freaking out, as usual. Something about the shoe missing and that I should just go without her because if she only has one shoe, she can't go. I told her to put on the shoes that she had worn when she was out with friends today. She screamed some sort of reply, none of which I could hear or understand between the dog barking hysterically and Hannah's word vomit.

When she has refused to go to the doctor in the past, I have gone by myself. This time, however, she was so close to a full blown rage that I decided being that far away from home just wasn't a good idea. Instead, I went to the car and locked myself in. I texted Hannah and told her that if she chose not to go to the doctor, I was going to turn her texting off. She already has voice calls turned off all the time. She still refused to go, so I drove away from the house and had Jack turn off her texting for me. I stayed away for about a half hour and when I got home, she had left. That means tonight is going to be a rage fest! As soon as she comes home, she will start screaming at me and demanding that I turn her texting back on. If I don't have a stroke or heart attack before she even gets here, it will be a miracle. My stress level is way up there at this point, in anticipation of the trouble that is sure to come.

When I called the doctor to let her know that Hannah refused to come, she was kind of mad at me. Ugh, just what I need. She wanted to know why I didn't come by myself. I explained that Hannah was really close to having a huge rage and, even though Shauna was locked in her room, I didn't want to go too far from home, in case Hannah got too out of control and tried to hurt Shauna or started to destroy the house or hurt herself. She reminded me that we were going to get billed, even if Hannah refuses to go. Another piece of news that I didn't really need. I would think that since psychologists sign up to treat mentally ill children, they would be used to them not showing up for appointments and not get mad at the mother for it. She must have forgotten that Hannah's secondary insurance is Medicaid and she isn't allowed to bill for missed appointments. At least that's what she told me the last time this happened. Anyway, the doctor also said that if Hannah does this one more time, she will drop her. Wonderful. Although I don't always love this doctor, she has made a ton of progress with Hannah and I would hate to have to start all over again. Hannah has only missed 4 appointments over the past 2 1/2 years and I went by myself to 2 of those, so the doctor still got paid. Since she has about 30 appointments a year, I don't think that is a bad record. Three of those appointments Hannah refused to go to and the other one was missed because I wrote the wrong date on my calendar. That time the doctor suggested that, "in order to assuage my guilt", maybe I would like to pay her, even though she wasn't allowed to bill me. Have I ever mentioned how much I love dealing with mental health professionals? Sometimes I wonder if they chose this profession just so they could get free treatment for their own issues!

My Cataclysmic Mistake-The Beginning

I recently made want is, most likely, the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. I am not exaggerating or being melodramatic. I truly wish I were. This mistake came from the best of intentions, but completely backfired and I'm afraid there may not ever be an end to the direct and collateral damage.

Here is some background to begin this very long, involved story. Alex and Shauna both have contact with their birth families. For Alex, we have been in contact since birth. Since his birth mom was killed in 2006 and his grandmother died the following year of cancer, we only speak to them on Facebook, but will probably see them if we go to Chicago this summer. As for Shauna, we had contact until shortly after her first birthday. Nothing happened between us or anything, but we moved to Virginia and her grandmother lost our new address. I sent her some letters, but they came back as undeliverable. Turns out the family had moved shortly after we did and lost our information during the move. A year and a half ago, I found them on Facebook and we have been in contact since them. I have talked to her grandmother on the phone a few times and Shauna texts and skypes with her sisters once in a while. They have been extremely thoughtful and careful not to cross any boundaries. They are so grateful to have Shauna back in their lives. They were very sensitive to Shauna's feelings and have never pushed themselves on her. Shauna enjoys the relationship they have. She loves seeing their pictures and discussing how much they have in common. She loves seeing people who look exactly like her. Hannah has told me several times that she feels really badly because she doesn't know anything about her birth family and she feels left out. I was trying to be a good mom and I decided that I would try to find Hannah's birth family for her. Have you figured out what the horrendous mistake was, yet? Here's a hint, I will never try to be a good mom again. (Insert a huge sigh here.)

I have searched for Hannah's family many times over the years. They have an extremely common name and it turned out to be very difficult to find them. One night, I spent about six hours on Facebook, going through everyone with the name of one of Hannah's birth sisters, Jasmine J. I clicked on each name, then looked through their friends, hoping to find a Jasmine J. who had friends by the names of Hannah's other six siblings . I finally hit the jackpot and found all but two of the siblings on Facebook. I also found Hannah's birth father and found out from his Facebook, that her oldest brother had died several years ago. The next day, I asked Hannah if she would still be interested in getting in touch with her birth siblings, if I could find them. She was very excited and didn't hesitate to say yes. I then talked to Mike and we agreed that I should send Jasmine a message, explaining the issues that Hannah has and asking if she thought that the family was ready for contact and if that contact would be safe for Hannah. I composed a nice letter and sent it under a fake Facebook account because I didn't want them to know our last name or where we lived right away. After about ten days, I hadn't received a reply. I wasn't sure if that meant they didn't want to know Hannah or if Jasmine hadn't read my message. I had a strong feeling that she had ignored the message because it was from someone she didn't know. Jasmine is 7 years older than Hannah and she had been so in love with her baby sister, I just knew she wouldn't pass up an opportunity to get to know her.

Here are a few excerpts from my letter:

She is sweet, loving, kind, caring, naive, friendly, and active (very active! Lol)...She has Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder... She is smart, but struggles with learning disabilities, also...She struggles with rules and often puts herself into dangerous situations because she is unable to completely understand consequences and has trouble "thinking ahead" and anticipating what might happen in certain situations...She has been in long-term treatment for these problems and she has shown tremendous progress over time, especially over the last two years...You and your siblings and parents have been in our thoughts all these years. We discuss you often and I have told Hannah that she comes from a kind, loving, close family. She has had a picture of her, you, and some of your brothers on her dresser, all these years. In the picture, she is sitting on your lap and she has always said she feels so close to you, even though she doesn't actually remember you...As I've said, she has a lot of serious issues and I don't want to start anything that will throw her off track. I am trusting that my gut feelings are correct in telling me that you are a trustworthy person, who will tell me honestly what you think. Before I allow Hannah to have Facebook contact with all of you, I need to know if you think anyone in your family will look negatively on our adoption of her and express those feelings to her. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I'm just trying to protect Hannah, so please don't take any of this the wrong way...

To be continued...

Rage Central

Well, more like mini tantrum central, actually. This morning, everything was off to a great start. I was straightening Hannah's hair and Mike was chilling in the family room with us, while he waited for Jack to get home from work with his car, so Mike could drive up to DC for work. We were having fun and joking around. Mike eventually left and Hannah went out to the car with him to bring in the coffee grounds that he had brought home from work on Thursday. They are for my compost pile. When Hannah carried the cans in, she held them against her chest and got a coffee ground stain on her shirt. Not good at all! It takes Hannah between a half an hour and two hours to pick out clothes for the day. She always does it the night before and wears them to bed, but don't get me started, I let the little things go. If you have a typical kid, you might not consider that a little thing, but for Hannah it really is. Now she had to leave for the bus in the next 2 minutes. Of course, she insists on going to the bus stop way too early, but she thinks she is late if she doesn't get out of the house at least 15 minutes before the bus comes. The stop is right in front of our house, so it isn't like she has a long walk.

Anyway, when she saw the stain, she freaked out! She started screaming that she would never be able to pick something else out before the bus came, etc. I tried to tell her we could spray a little Awesome spray on it and wipe it with a damp washcloth and it would probably come out. She was having none of it. She started screaming, well, not really screaming, but it is hard to describe. It was more like a long, deep rumbling grunt of total frustration. I know the sound well because I have made it myself in regards to some of her antics! She ran to the wall and started to kick it, then she ran to the french doors that lead to the living room and kicked those a bunch of times (they have glass in them, luckily, she only kicked the wood on the bottom), then she started kicking the bottom of the front door sidelight window. The whole time, she was emitting the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sound! No damage was done, other than some of the color from the sole of her shoe making a mark on the french door. At this point, I was trying to figure out just how she figured that taking the time to kick three different spots in the house would help her find a new shirt and get to the bus stop on time! She then ran upstairs, grabbed a different shirt and left.

She wants me to buy her a large punching bag to hang in her room. She thinks this would help her let out her rage in an acceptable manner. I think it would, if she is be able to keep it together long enough to actually go to the room to punch it. I have been looking for a cheap one on Craig's List and have even tried to ask for one on Freecycle, but no luck as of yet. I don't think one of those little balloon type ones would be effective. I think she needs the big, heavy kind and I know they are pretty expensive. We'll see what happens with that.

That was the mini tantrum. A few hours later, Steven woke up and the real fireworks began! Last week, when he got paid, he had cashed his check, kept out $30 for his weekly spending money, and given me the envelope with the rest of the money. Out of that, I was supposed to keep $25 for myself, since I had loaned him $25 and pay his bills with the rest. On Saturday, Mike had taken the money, to pay the bills and anything left into Steven's bank account. We have an account that is in his name and Mike's and Steven isn't authorized to withdraw from it. Since he isn't great about saving, this is the only way for him to save to get his car fixed. Mike forgot to leave Steven's weekly $30 spending money. So, following in his sister's footsteps, Steven decided to freak out, also. He didn't kick anything. He just yelled and said all kinds of mean, untrue and irrational things to me. Let's highlight a few of the really lovely ones. "I want to see a deposit slip because I make all kinds of money and it all disappears once Dad gets it." "This is bull sh*t." "I work all week and have all my money taken away." I could go on for a while, but you get the picture.

This happened twice. After I accused him of being rude, disrespectful and ungrateful, which I'm sure he wasn't listening to, as he was still screaming, I told him to get out of the house. I really don't have to listen to that crap in my own home. He went outside for about 10 minutes and I saw one of his friends come over. Then he came back in and started up again with the exact same drivel. I said the exact same thing I said the first time and then just refused to engage. He went back out in front with his friend. I emailed Mike and he called me and helped me calm down because although I handle things like this all the time and don't usually get that upset, this time I did. I think that it has to do with the fact that I took such good care of this kid when he got his dog bite and surgery. While I feel that it is my job and privilege to do so, as his mother, and I am really happy to do it and don't expect any thank you or reward for doing it, I also don't feel I deserve to be treated like that!

I think Mike called Steven's cell phone and talked to him because after about 20 more minutes, he came in and apologized (not sure how sincere it was, but it wasn't nasty) and asked if I could get the money from the ATM and then take it out of his bank account. Funny thing is, that is what I was first trying to tell him I would do when he started screaming at me!

Okay, just to get this straight. We have never stolen money from him, even though he is convinced that we have. We have taken small amounts at times (about $20-30 a month, with his knowledge) to help pay for the large balance we still owe from his 2 1/2 years of substance abuse treatment. As a matter of fact, we have supported him since April 10th, when he had his surgery. This support included changing bandages, keeping medication records and making sure he actually took them on time, driving back and forth to various hospitals, 4 specialists, physical therapy and administering IV's 24 hours a day. Not to mention the monetary help and food we provided when he couldn't work for several weeks in February and March, after the dog bite. We have paid almost all of his medical copays, for 2 ER treatments, surgery, and therapy. We haven't asked for one red cent in rent. We paid 3 months of his car payment when he was out of work for 7 weeks, even though paying it caused us to have to put groceries on a credit card which will probably never be paid off in our lifetime. And WE are stealing from HIM? Are you kidding me???????

Okay, I'm done, but that felt really good! Not sure how much sense it all makes and I don't have the energy right now to proof read, so it is going to get posted, as is. Steven behaved the rest of the day, so did Hannah. All in all Steven has been WAY better than he used to be. If I compare the way he was one year ago and the way he is today, I can't believe the difference. That makes it a lot easier to stomach what happened today. A year ago, I would think he really meant all those mean things, but now I know that he is as grateful as he can be and controls his temper as well as he is capable of doing. At times, it is obvious that he has to work very hard to do that, but he is doing it consistently. Shauna now likes him again, most times anyway. A year ago, she would cry every day and ask me when he was moving out. He is a lot of fun to be around 80-90% of the time now, as opposed to 10% or less one year ago. I call that real progress!

New teacher meeting

I had the meeting with Hannah's current special ed teacher and the new teacher who will be her special ed teacher next year. I am so relieved. The current teacher is wonderful and I have loved, loved, loved her. I was so afraid that next year all the progress Hannah has made would just fall to pieces. After spending about an hour with the new teacher today, I am feeling so much better. She seems every bit as wonderful as this year's teacher! They have pretty much all the same ideas and they run things pretty much the same, so it will be consistent with this year. Yay!

Choir Concert

Sunday was the last middle school choir concert for Alex. He has been involved in choir all three years, so it was a little sad for him. This was Hannah's second concert, but I was out of town for the last one and didn't get to see it. The concert was really good and it was also an awards ceremony. I didn't get a picture of Alex in his choir costume because at the end, the 8th graders did a song and dance from Grease.

"I have asthma"

Hannah, Alex and I were talking. Alex said that Hannah looked skinnier. I said that is because she isn't eating as much and she is going outside more and getting more exercise. Hannah blurts out, "I have asthma!" Alex and I burst out laughing. WHAT? She doesn't have asthma, not even close. So she tells us that they were doing the pacer in gym class and she could only do 27, then she had to stop. Her friend came up to her and said, "I had to stop, too, because I have asthma." Hannah said, "I have asthma, too!" and her friend high fived her.

Ugh, I'm not sure why she really stopped, most likely because her friends were stopping, but I know she doesn't have asthma. She is a very fast runner, with tons of stamina, but she doesn't want to stand out, so she will watch what her friends are doing and copy them.

Stuff and more stuff

Steven continues to slowly improve after his surgery. He has been to the physical therapist 4 times, which is still really painful for him, but he is sticking with it and doing the exercises. We went to see a lawyer today to, hopefully, get his medical bills paid. She said he has a very good case and she is going to ask another lawyer to join her on this case because he has a personal injury practice and has a lot of experience with dog bite suits. I'm not really thrilled about having to bring in a lawyer, but since the dog's owners don't want to help with the bills, we don't have a choice.

Janine is here, arriving several hours earlier than expected on Saturday. CUP was freaking out because he had to rush to get ready. He gave her a hard time about it, but the important thing is she got here safely and without any traffic problems! Mike, Jack, Janine, Steven, Hannah and I all went to Richmond Saturday night to see Chuck's band again. It was fun. Since it was a beautiful evening, they played outside on the patio and that was really nice.

I have a black and white shirt that I joke around with my mom about. I call it my "hot" shirt. At the restaurant, I told Mike that I had my hot shirt on and his reply was, "I have my compression stocking on." Wow, talk about a reminder of how old we are getting! When we were dating, we hung around with Chuck and Roni a lot. While we were at the concert, I told Mike that it reminded me of when we were dating because he smelled like beer and we were hanging around with Chuck and Roni!

I forgot to blog that another friend of Steven's was killed last week. He had two friends killed in an accident last summer (they were drunk and high) and now this friend was hit head-on by a drunk/high driver and killed instantly. I find it hard to believe that people still think it is fine to drive drunk or under the influence of drugs. As we were leaving the lawyer's office, Steven got a call from one of his friends who told him that another of their friends had committed suicide. How sad.

This morning Alex had to stay home for a little while because he had such a bad nose bleed and it wouldn't stop. Every time I take him to the doctor and tell her that he gets these terrible nose bleeds, she tells him not to pick his nose! Hello, he is 14 years old, he doesn't pick his nose! I'm going to take him in again and see if there is something else we can do to prevent this, besides banning the nose picking. When he gets these really bad bleeds, he can soak through several towels and lose a ton of blood, which can't be good. I wonder if we should just take him to the ER the next time it happens. Of course, it almost always happens in the middle of the night or early in the morning and sometimes he doesn't even tell me when it is happening because he doesn't want to bother me. Sometimes I see the tell tale blood splatters and figure it out that way. I always joke that if a murder is committed in our house and the police spray it with luminol, there is going to be blood all over the place from his bloody noses, as well as Hannah's! He does a pretty good job of cleaning the blood up, now that he is older, but sometimes he misses some.

Yearbook Pictures

Steven, 1st grade, 1996

Hannah, pre-school, 4 1/2, 2001

Shauna, pre-school, 3 1/2, 2001

Steven's friend, Joe, 2nd grade, 1996

Quotes of the day

"Let's get some of those.....things to serve the meatballs." (I make a hand motion, like I'm using tongs, since I can't remember the name)--Me

"Oh, you mean tonsils?"--Shauna

**********

"Don't take a really long shower because water is expensive, plus we are trying to save the planet."--Me

"We're trying to save the planet???"--said by a wide-eyed, shocked-faced Hannah

Quote of the day

Mom, Alex and Hannah are in the car, listening to a muffler commercial on the radio....Hannah says, "Hey, its Obama!"

In her defense, the guy doing the voice over did sound like Obama.

Yesterday's mini rage

Yet again, I'm falling behind on my blogging. Yesterday Hannah went to her friend's house on her bike and was told to be home by 5:30. Since she didn't have a watch and she broke the screen on my cell phone, I figured she might not think to ask anyone the time, so I told her that as soon as it started to get dark, even a tiny bit, it would be 5:30 and she had to come home.

6:00 rolled around and I had to leave to get Shauna to her 6th grade orientation night and to bring Alex's dress shoes and socks to the same event, as he had stayed after for play practice and his choir group was singing at the orientation. Hannah was nowhere to be found. I called her friend's house and her sister told me that they were outside somewhere. I drove over and she still wasn't there, so I drove to the apartment complex next door, where they usually hang out. Sure enough, there was a big group of kids standing on the corner, talking, and one of them was Hannah. I started to brace myself, not knowing how she would act. I knew she would be mad that I picked her up in front of her friends, since she gets embarrassed very easily. I also knew that she would be furious that she now had to go with me to the school because I didn't have time to drop her off at home.

Well, I was right on all of the above. I told her that she was grounded for two days for not coming home when she was told. She went into hysterics and screamed that she didn't know what time it was, didn't know that it was dark, wasn't her fault, one more chance, etc. All the usual nonsense. I told her the grounding stayed and I wasn't going to discuss it any more. She hit me twice, trying to get me to engage. I was driving at the time, but luckily the school is only a couple of minutes away. Once we got there, she had to stop raging because she was afraid someone she knew might see her. She was still obviously mad at me, but she controlled herself. Her teacher was there and came over and told me how fantastic she is doing in school, so that helped quite a bit with her bad mood. Then she saw some kids she and Shauna know and really like, so that helped, too. I was still afraid of what would happen when we got back in the car and when we got home.

Alex sang with his choir group and they were wonderful! This is a smaller choir than the general one and the highest level choir at the school. Only 3 or 4 boys were there, so I could really pick out his voice. The sang the National Anthem.

Back to my story, after we were done at school, we headed home. As soon as we got in the car, Hannah started bugging me about letting her off her grounding again. She had lost most of her steam, however, so it wasn't too bad. She didn't hit and we managed to get home in one piece. Same for after we got home. She bugged me a bit, but since we got home at about 7:30 and she is usually asleep by 8:00, she really only had time to eat and go to bed.

Yesterday Sucked-Part One

It started out rather peaceful, until Hurricane Hannah came home from school! She was still in a "mood", which started the day before yesterday. She must have known she would be grounded for being violent with Shauna, as violence always comes with a grounding. She figures if she denies things, they aren't so. So, she came home from school and expected to go to her friend's house. I could see a rage coming a mile away, but what could I do? The only way to stop it was to let her go and that would be inconsistent discipline. She was getting more and more irrational in what she was saying and sobbing and make motions to punch me. I knew that it would only get worse, but I couldn't calm her down. Jack and Luke grabbed her off me when she attacked and the rage lasted about 5 minutes, I would guess. It feels like forever when it is happening. She only got in two really good punches on me and I have a bruise on each forearm from trying to deflect the blows. She kicked Jack in the leg, which he said is okay today, but his thumb is hurting. It probably got bent back while he was trying to hold her down. She had gotten ahold of Luke's hair with both of her hands and wouldn't let go, but I don't think he has any lasting pain from that. She was trying really hard to bite us, but we were a little quicker than she was.

Once she calmed down, she rested on the couch for about 45 minutes and then went upstairs. A few minutes later, she came downstairs, sweet as pie, and told me that she needed me to take her to the store to buy some black shoes for choir. Apparently they were supposed to have them by today so they could get fitted for their dresses. Are you kidding me??????? Did she really think I was going to smile and take her shopping? Luckily, she didn't melt down, which was a surprise. I had, however, been able to get her to take a very small extra dose of her medication, just a minute or two before the rage, so I guess it had gone into effect and helped her stay in control. She just said, "Well, I'm going to get my grade taken down one grade if I don't have them, so it will be your fault. I have an A now, so it will go down." Sorry, kid, not MY problem.

This morning I reminded her that she is grounded today because of the rage, since one of the irrational things she kept saying last night was that I never tell her that she's getting grounded in advance, so it doesn't count. I'm hoping that she will have it in her head that she is grounded and not get obsessed with going out. I really hope so because I'm just not up for another rage today!

Christmas Decorating

The lights on the porches and the wreath on the garage

A close up of the wreath

We worked on finishing up the decorations tonight. Alex and Shauna helped me put the outside lights up. They look really nice, as always. Then I finished putting the blue lights on the green tree. Drew ran to Rite Aid for me to buy some more lights and pick up prescriptions. He has been home from work for the last few days with an eye infection, so this was his first time out of the house. He got the infection from leaving his contacts in for two weeks, when they are supposed to be removed and cleaned each night and then the entire pair changed after two weeks. Well, he was in a lot of pain and wouldn't go to the doctor, so I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson.

After putting the blue lights and white garland on the green tree, Alex, Shauna and I put the ornaments on. Luke helped Alex carry the ornament boxes down, after Alex located them in the attic, after looked couldn't. I think Luke's idea of looking for the ornaments was to open the attic door and glance left, then right, then close the door! We had to really cram them on, but we got all of the good ones to fit. We have two small trees this year, instead of a big one. Since the cats climb and ruin our trees, I have to be able to put them in the sun room each night, so they can't tear them apart.

I took pictures of the green tree and will take pictures of the white one tomorrow. I didn't even bring the white one out today because I didn't want to have to worry about the cats getting into it while I was working on the other one.

The green tree with all the family ornaments

Rebel straight chillin' in the box

Hmmm, this isn't such a great chill spot, once Wrigley sticks his snout in!

Dance Pictures

Alex and Hannah went to a dance Friday night. I straightened Hannah's hair and took some pictures. Alex didn't want to be in one, but I made him. Speaking of Hannah's hair, ugh! She found out about 6 weeks ago that if she washed her hair and left the shampoo in, her hair would stay wavy and wet-looking and not puff up. When I found out that is what she was doing to achieve that look, I told her she needed to stop immediately because she was going to dry out her scalp and hair and her hair would break off more than usual, etc. Well, you can't tell Hannah what to do when it comes to her hair. She is obsessed with it and plays around with it constantly. I'm not kidding, some days she will change the style 25 times, not an exaggeration. Well, she ended up drying her scalp out (surprise, surprise) by leaving the shampoo in and I had to pick hundreds of clumps of disgusting dry skin (think dandruff, but WAY bigger with most pieces about 1/4" x 1/2") out of her hair after I washed it. There were some before I washed it, but when I massaged her scalp, it loosened a ton more. Her ears were covered with dry, flaking skin, too. These flakes were a dark color, as well, because they had taken on some of the color from the other hair products (leave in conditioner and probably hair spray, even though she is forbidden to use it) that she uses. YUCK! I hope she learned her lesson. She said she has, but I wouldn't be surprised if she forgets and repeats it at least a few more times in the next few months.

The weekend

I feel like I got quite a bit accomplished this weekend, although not as much as I would have liked. I cleaned out a cabinet that has been a gathering place for some kitchen stuff, some spices and extracts and some junk. I haven't quite finished yet, as I still have to vacuum the cabinet out (I asked Alex to do that, but I'm pretty sure he never did) and put everything back in that is staying. I also cleaned out three boxes that have been sitting under the recipe desk part of my kitchen counter for the last few years. Yes, years, I'm not exaggerating! Almost everything in them was trash. It was mostly old paperwork that I didn't need anymore. I saved some report cards for keepsakes, found one savings bond and a few other keepers, but the rest went in the trash. I also realized one of the boxes was craft supplies. I have been looking for the beads that were in there forever. I remember now that someone was doing a project for school and I brought the box out and never put it away. This whole time, I thought it had paperwork in it!

I took Hannah shopping today to get something for her Secret Santa. Each year, the 7 kids draw names and get a $20-$25 gift or gifts for their Secret Santa. They love this and have a wonderful time shopping for their person. Hannah also picked out a few things for herself that will be either from Gramma or Santa. I usually pick things up for the girls for my mom to give them because she doesn't really spend much time with them and really doesn't have a clue what they like or are in to. She used to just buy them things that she knew my niece would like and their tastes are much different, so I offered to get their gifts for her. Not exactly what I need, more shopping to have to do, but I prefer that to seeing their disappointed faces when they get things they aren't interested in. My mom always gives the boys money, so that one is easy.

After I dropped Hannah off at home, I picked Alex up from "Godspell" practice and took him shopping for himself from Santa and for his Secret Santa. I can't pick clothes out for him and that is all he wanted, because he needs to try them on. By the time we finished shopping, we forgot all about getting something for his Secret Santa! We did stop at Walmart and get frozen pizzas for dinner so I wouldn't have to cook when I got home.

After a full day of shopping, I came home, ate and then combed Shauna's hair out. She had washed and conditioned it herself, while I was gone. She did a really good job because she put the conditioner in and then combed it out, before rinsing it. That got a lot of the tangles out so it only took me about 45 minutes to comb it out. I just put it up in one pony, so I will have to either straighten it tomorrow or braid it.

The cats helped with Hannah's science project!

Hannah had to do a project for science. In the past, projects have been really stressful for her and me. This time, she was allowed to work with a partner. She did a great job, not waiting until the last minute and working hard on all the paperwork part of the project. They had to make an edible Bohr model of Zinc. Hannah decided that she wanted to make a pizza model. We made the pizza last night and it came out really good. She used cheese for the rings, turkey for the electrons, sausage for the protons and pepperoni for the neutrons, with a sauce-only nucleus. It actually came out much better than I thought it would, so we were happy with it.

I put the pizza on the counter to cool. When I went to cover it and put it in the refrigerator, I was horrified to discover that one of the cats (who shall remain nameless, mainly because I don't know who it was!) had eaten a bunch of the neutrons!!!! I didn't have any more sauce made and putting the pizza together had been a huge pain in the butt, so there was no way I was going to make another. So, this morning, I had to cook some more turkey and replace the eaten areas. It worked out fine, thankfully.

On a related subject, Luke is so smart. Hannah and I were frantically searching the internet (because she forgot which website she had found it on previously) for what the model was supposed to look like. I had no idea what it was called and Hannah told me to search for "a round thing with zinc stuff on it". Hmm, I didn't try it, but I'm pretty darn sure that doing a google search for that wouldn't have turned up an answer! Luckily, Luke came downstairs while we were searching and I asked him if he knew what it might be called or what I should search for. He matter of factly replies, "Oh, a Bohr model, B-o-h-r". I must have learned that at some point in my life, but I sure don't remember. I guess it just always surprised me a little when Luke comes up with things so easily. This is the same kid who spends every spare moment playing computer games and scours the internet for "useless facts" when he finished his classwork in computer class. I think he also has the script for every single Family Guy episode stored in his head. Of course, he is also addicted to the History and Discovery Channels, so I guess that might offset some of the other things. It will be very interesting to see his resume when he graduates from college!

Happy Birthday Hannah Michelle Danielle Latoya!

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday because I had to take the van to Newport News to get the new tv and then Shauna had a Veteran's Day Program at school. Yesterday was also Hannah Michelle Danielle Latoya's 12th birthday!!! Happy Birthday, Hannah Banana!

Hannah was beyond thrilled with her presents. She is very into fashion, unlike her mother, whose friend has threatened numerous times to get her on "What Not to Wear"! Now that she is in middle school, fashion has become even more important to her. It is hard to dress your kids in what they consider fashionable clothing on an extremely tight budget. Especially when those kids (Hannah and Alex) are obsessed with wearing name brands whenever possible. Like their mother, however, they also love a good bargain and never pay full price for anything, YAY!

CUP (happy, Denise?!?!?) and I went to the PacSun outlet store. I was able to purchase a pair of skinny jeans (apparently a middle school must-have!), 4 shirts (2 are being put away for Christmas), and an appliqued hoody. The jeans were $25, marked down from $45, three of the shirts were $2.99, marked down from $15, one shirt was $3.99, marked down from $17 and the hoody was $25, marked down from $45. Those were the markdowns off the outlet store price, I can't even begin to imagine what they cost at the regular store. I still think that is way too much to spend on clothing, but Hannah was so incredibly happy, so it was worth it. She was surprised that I had such good taste and picked out everything that she loved. I was surprised, too!!! I did make a mistake on the original pair of jeans that I bought. I got the right size (size 00, a size I don't think I EVER wore!), but I got boot cut. We went back to the store after Shauna's performance to get the right ones. The skinny ones were $5 more, so I made her kick in the $5 because I had already gone over the birthday budget of $40 per kid.

Meltdown

Hannah had a short meltdown today, but I am seeing such huge improvement since her meds have been increased. This was her first one in a LONG time. She got angry over something I said and Steven reiterated. It would have been fine if Steven hadn't stuck his two cents in, when he shouldn't have. Anyway, she started to cry and ran upstairs. Then there was a huge crash.

Drew has his dresser at the top of the stairs and he has a box on top of it, where he keeps a bunch of his crap, including a ton of cologne bottles (cologne seems to be one of his obsessions). She had picked the box up and thrown it down the stairs. There was stuff all over the hall up there and on almost all of the stairs and even a few on the foyer. Somehow, only two large cologne bottles broke, but it was a huge, smelly mess. He also had a bunch of hockey cards and paperwork in the box, plus a ton of miscellaneous stuff, like un-blown balloons and shaving supplies.

It was fun to clean up. Alex helped a ton, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Hannah came out of her room and offered to help, but I said no because the glass was really sharp and I had already had to pull a piece out of my finger with a tweezers and I was being super careful.

Here is where I see the improvement. Number one, Hannah never apologizes when she has a tantrum. Oh, she will say sorry when I tell her to, but it is said in a snotty way and you can tell she isn't really sorry. Also, she offered to help with the clean-up, sincerely and nicely. That was only about 5 minutes after she threw the box and she was already calm. That is a big improvement. When she came downstairs later (after falling asleep in her room for about an hour), she apologized and told me that she really did feel bad about doing that and that she regretted it right after she did it. Another huge step for her. Normally, she would blame it on someone else and refuse any responsibility.

Hannah also hasn't been having any after school tantrums, now that she is taking her second does of abilify in school. It is working by the time she gets home and life is so much easier.

Speaking of Hannah, she went to a dance at her school last night. Alex had a play performance so he wasn't there to keep an eye on her. I wasn't worried, though, with her new attitude, I figured she would be fine. She always dances in a big group, but she came home all excited last night because a boy asked her to dance a slow dance. She doesn't "like" him (although she used to have a huge crush on his twin brother in fourth grade) and he doesn't "like" her, they just danced as friends. (Apparently that is very important for us to know!!!)

Halloween

Ooops, I just found this post in my drafts. I think I was waiting for the Halloween pictures before posting it, but here it is, better late than never!

Halloween was pretty uneventful this year. The weather was gorgeous. Sunny and warm during the day, in the upper 60's. It got a slightly chilly when the sun went down, but a light jacket was plenty.

No costume meltdowns this year, luckily. Hannah usually changes her mind about her costume at least 20 times, including after we have already bought one. She did very well this year, as we bought costumes early, so I expected the worst. The worst thing that happened was that the straps broke off of Shauna's costume and I couldn't find a needle, so I had to staple them back on. Hey, it worked!

The girls didn't want us to go trick-or-treating with them, even though Mike was home this year. So, Mike, Jack and I sat on the front porch and I gave out the candy. At first, we had hardly any kids in the neighborhood, which was weird because last year was wall-to-wall kids all night. I think because it was a Friday, a lot of people were having parties. Traffic picked up after about a half hour and then it was pretty steady until 8:00. Shauna went off with her friends, Sydney, Shannon and Kayla. Hannah went out with her friend Larkinya and her two brothers and one of their friends. Alex went with his friends, Samantha and Brittany and they hooked up with a huge bunch of other kids along the way.