Thursday, January 8, 2009

Klepto couch

I blogged before about how we are getting rid of our old green couches and slip covering an old couch and love seat. Well, today is the day we finally get the green sectional out of the house. Mike called for a bulk pick up and it will be gone tomorrow morning. Yay! We bought that sectional in January of 2001 so in my estimation, that would make it at least 16 years old. No, I'm not that bad a math, but I figure that we have more than twice the amount of people a 'normal' family has, so our stuff wears out at least two times as quickly. Add to that, the fact that 8 of our cats are not declawed and my kids are very hard on things, and that is how I determined that they are 16 years old.

Anyway, back to my point. A couple of weeks ago, I cleaned underneath the green couches and between the cushions, as best I could. The cushions are attached, so it isn't that easy to clean under them and there is a thick liner on the bottom of the couch, so when something gets in between the cushions, it is very hard to get out. I decided that when the time actually came for the couches to go in the trash, I would cut the cushions off to make sure we got anything important that might have fallen in there, like my missing key ring. Wow, did we ever find some treasures!

First of all, yes, we found the key ring. It has been missing for about a year. I feel a bit guilty now, as I accused Steven of stealing those keys. He was in a habit, at that time, of taking our keys when we weren't paying attention and driving our cars without permission, so he was a likely suspect. Plus, the keys disappeared from the couch when I had fallen asleep on the chair and he was the only other one in the room with me. I guess he must have sat on the cushion the keys were on and they fell between the cushions and then got wedged underneath. We did not, however, find the set of keys that I lost about a year and a half before I lost the other one. I'm convinced that set went out with the trash at some point. I almost cried when Hannah was asking me what each key was for and some were for my hockey storage containers at the rink. Hannah noticed I was sad and said, "Now you know how I felt when my friend, Lauren, moved yesterday." Hehe, well at least she recognized that someone else has feelings besides her! Now on to the other things that were found in the couch. Yes, I made a list, weirdest things first!

Drum stick-no one has played the drums in this house for about 5 years, now we know why!
Container of caulk
18" dowel rod
hand towel
several wash rags
bottle of skin lotion
laser for an air soft gun
monopoly houses
safety pins
mechanical pencils
french fries (can't tell you the last time we even had those!)
candy and other misc. wrappers
school papers
allen wrench
index cards with extra chores for the kids written on them, that had mysteriously disappeared!
mouse cat toy (at least it wasn't a real mouse, which actually wouldn't have shocked me at this point!)
a skate bearing
a lot of unopened bills
hair clips
pony tail holders
at least 20 socks (now we know who steals them from the laundry, the damn green couch!)
hologram kitty sticker
soccer award ribbon (my kids don't even play soccer)
$1 off Tidy Cat Litter coupon that was not expired
at least 1/8 of a cup of dirt and crumbs

Now keep in mind, this was AFTER I had already cleaned this out a couple of weeks ago. Ugh, is the only thing I can say about this. Well, I lied, I can say yuck, as well!

Here are the photos, in addition to cutting off cushions, we had to tear the backs open, well more to the point, CUP had to tear the backs open.

The back of the corner section

The torn open back of the couch section

My long lost keys and the burn mark where Alex put the hot iron down a few years ago
Jack, saying his last good-byes to an old friend

This is half of the stuff that came out of the couches, half. And remember, this was inside the couch, not under it. Since I am such a spotless housekeeper, the underneath area was clean! Note the caulk container, drum stick and dowel rod at the bottom of the photo! If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I never would have believed those could come out of a couch. Has anyone ever seen the Family Guy, where Peter pulls all kinds of stuff out of his belly button, including Stewie???? It was kind of like that.


jen said...

When I saw how long you had that couch I was incredibly impressed. My kids are a bit hyper. (being nice here! lol) and they have actually bent the couches arms to the floor. Basically, I have refused to buy them any more couches. They have one couch left and any extra kids watch tv on the floor. I have couches in the living room and guard them with my life. lol Probably the only reason we knew we had so much crap under our couches was because we move rooms on a regular basis and when we take the couches up the stairs everything falls out.

Tabitha used to hide things under and in the couch purposely like plates with chicken on them. When my mom came to visit she cleaned under the couch and found the mess. Talk about embarressing... ugh...

Mom of 7 said...

Oh, Jen, I'm laughing hysterically! Thank you for letting me know I'm not the only one who lives under these conditions!

Anonymous said...

We were given a living room set once, and we found toys under and around it for years where they'd finally found their way out from under the cushions! And pens, and crochet hooks, and...